Our recurring feature in which Gama News political experts Amiço and Chiwawa Boy of The José Trio discuss and debate each other on current world news and events
Amiço and Chiwawa Boy
Hey Amiço! How was your Christmas?
Ehhn.....I've had better ones.
Oh, that's right. Our four readers didn't know that you went back to Tamale this year to see your family. What happened?
Well, my madre and brother decided to go to Las Vegas for Christmas....only they forgot to tell me before I left to see them.
Aw, I'm sorry, Amiço. So, you spent Christmas alone?
Well, sort of. Remember Sue?
Oh stop it! It wasn't funny last time! You know...Sue, the tavern singer that I used to see in Gonzales Village.
I figured if I can't see my family during the holidays, I can at least see someone else I care about.
How is she?
Oh, she was just fine.....her, her husband, and her four sons.
Si. It turns out that she was just using me to make her husband jealous.
Oh man, I'm sorry, Amiço.
Gracias. I dunno....I think I always suspected. But, she could have told me some time before I went back down there, ya know? It would have at least saved me from getting her a Christmas present.
So, I take it she never felt the same way about you as you did about her?
Well, I thought she did....unless I really misinterpreted her going down on me. But still, it just ticks me off.
I bet. Well, did she like her gift?
Do you have any idea where I had to hide a Fred Flintstone Pez dispenser so the border guard wouldn't find it??
I am really sorry, Amiço. People like that should be put to sleep. Border guards, I mean.
So tonight, I'm making a resolution for the new year....no more tavern singers!
Wow.....that's uh, some commitment there.
What about you, Chiwawa Boy? What's your resolution this year?
I...don't really do those.
Well, I used to make one every year, and every year I would never get what I asked for.
It's a resolution, not a wish. There's no Mighty Genie of New Year's Eve.
What about that old guy who flies around?
No no, the guy that the creepy baby with the top hat turns into at the end of each year.
That's not a genie! I don't know exactly what he is, but trust me...he ain't no genie.
But....last year I asked for a Twilight Zone marathon, and all of a sudden there was one!
That's because they do that every year, and you know that! C.B., you're supposed to make a promise to yourself about how you want to improve your life in the next year.
You mean like swearing off internet porn?
Well, um, if you feel that's become a problem for you.
What did you resolve to do this past year?
Um....I don't remember. It was so long ago. And hey, I was drunk at the time.
Speaking of which, what was José's resolution?
I think his was to stop drinking.
AAAAHHH-Ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Yeah, I laughed, too.
Do people ever really follow through on these things?
Sometimes, but they're usually really easy resolutions...like "I resolve to not join the Taliban," or "I resolve to stop watching CBS."
How come resolutions are usually about things you don't want to do anymore?
What do you mean?
Well, don't a lot of people resolve to lose weight, or to stop smoking, or whatever other bad habits they may have?
Well, how often does someone say "I resolve to make sure my wife feels more loved this year than she ever had before," or "I resolve to give blood every month?"
You mean, why don't people resolve to add something to their lives instead of to take something away?
Well, I'm sure there are some people who do that....but I doubt there's that many.
That's something I'm going to do this year, then!
Well, hey, look! It's almost midnight!
I resolve to always be there for my amigos José and Amiço this year!
And I resolve to stop falling for tavern singers with tickling fetishes!
Happy new year, Amiço!
Happy new year, Chiwawa Boy. Here...
I told you. It's Fred Flintstone. Want a Pez?
He Said/He Said October, 2002: Fear
He Said/He Said September, 2002: The Emmys
He Said/He Said August, 2002: Baseball
He Said/He Said June, 2002: The Pledge
He Said/He Said May, 2002: Cloning
He Said/He Said February, 2002: Sex
He Said/He Said January, 2002: The State of the Union
He Said/He Said December, 2001: The Holidays
He Said/He Said August, 2001: McDonald's
He Said/He Said July, 2001: Music
He Said/He Said May, 2001: The Death Penalty
He Said/He Said March, 2001: The Oscars
He Said/He Said February, 2001: Napster
The Gama News Team ©2002 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.
The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.