Our recurring feature in which Gama News political experts Amiço and Chiwawa Boy of The José Trio discuss and debate each other on current world news and events
Amiço and Chiwawa Boy
Well, Chiwawa Boy, it's finally been approved. Desert Storm II: Electric Bugaloo.
What? Congress gave that simpering monkey the okay to declare war on Iraq??
Well, they said he can threaten to invade Iraq unless they get rid of all of their weapons of mass destruction.
Which of course will be followed by us getting rid of ours, right?
Um....nope. Apparently Congress is allowing Bush to be the world's bully.
So, weapons of mass destruction is the international equivalent to milk money?
Why is the U.S. doing this?
Well, that I don't know. I know that Bush is doing this because that's what "papa" would want.
So, instead of rising to the challenge of fixing the nation's economy and going after the people really responsible for the terrorist attacks, he's just going to try to justify his padre's presidency by repeating it?
I hope so. Remember, George, Sr. only served one term!
I hate war. It just gets me all anxious.
Oh yeah, I remember you wouldn't come out of your room during the Gulf thing.
If presidents and heads of nations really want to confront people who invoke terror, they just need to look in a mirror.
You see, I'm not that afraid of wars or terrorist attacks.
Really? Then, what scares you?
Well, I have a terrible fear of Batman sequels.
Si, si, but a lot of people do. It's called Schumachaphobia.
Do you know that it claims approximately 82% of the country's population alone?
C'mon, Amiço. Don't do have any unique fears of your own?
Does going to Wal-Mart count?
I suppose. What else?
Aw no ya don't! If I have to tell you another one, then you'll have to do the same!
Oh, okay. Um....not too many people know this, but...I'm afraid of those Grateful Dead bears that wear the Kermit collars.
Well, what did they do to Kermit??
I dunno....but I do think it's pretty scary that the guy that gave us the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers now wants to own The Muppets.
That floating head in the tube on Power Rangers scares me.
That's not scary. Not like that scene in Poltergeist when the nerdy guy is ripping his face off.
Oh please! That's nothing! The hobbling scene in Misery is much more terrifying.
Not as scary as the ending of Fright Night.
Or the beginning of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
That's just bad, not frightening. You don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, and you do?
Si, and I've played every Beatles record backwards!
Ooohh. Oh yeah? Well, I've paid full price to see every Adam Sandler movie!
So? I buy every Stephen King book as soon as they come out, knowing full well they're all the same and that I would be saving fifteen bucks by waiting three more months for the paperback edition.
Hmm....I can't top that. What about watching every presidential address this year? That's pretty scary when you think about it, huh?
Oh shut up, or I'll sic the Kermit Bears after you!
If you do, I'll sew nipples on all of your shirts!
Hey, wait a minute....what are we doing? We're lashing out at each other at this time of year?
No! Sweetest Day.
I thought it was called Swedish Day.
It's the time of year in which we have to go out and buy Hallmark cards for those who we didn't love as much on Valentine's Day.
Is there any reason why it's a week and a half before Halloween?
Um....I guess in case you have to send a belated card to someone, you can still make it festive.
"I love you....Boo!"
Actually, I think it's just a way for card shops and candy stores to make money off leftover heart-shaped chocolates right before they go bad.
Now, that's scary!
Way to go, American Greetings. The terrorists have won.
Wow. It took you thirteen months to use that line?
Shut up, Chiwawa Garcia.
He Said/He Said September, 2002: The Emmys
He Said/He Said August, 2002: Baseball
He Said/He Said June, 2002: The Pledge
He Said/He Said May, 2002: Cloning
He Said/He Said February, 2002: Sex
He Said/He Said January, 2002: The State of the Union
He Said/He Said December, 2001: The Holidays
He Said/He Said August, 2001: McDonald's
He Said/He Said July, 2001: Music
He Said/He Said May, 2001: The Death Penalty
He Said/He Said March, 2001: The Oscars
He Said/He Said February, 2001: Napster
The Gama News Team ©2002 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.
The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.