Our recurring feature in which Gama News political experts Amiço and Chiwawa Boy of The José Trio discuss and debate each other on current world news and events

September, 2003
Blackouts and Rub-outs

Amiço and Chiwawa Boy

Well, Amiço, here we are...a very important anniversary in this country's history.

Huh? Oh...si, si. 9/11.

What? No! We're almost at the one-month anniversary of the Great Blackout of Aught-Three!

That's not important.

Oh, come on, Amiço. We're all heroes! Bush even said so.

Why? Because we didn't immediately resort to looting and cannibalism?

No, because we all banded together in the face of...um, blackness...and no Law and Order.

Wait a minute...what are you talking about?? It didn't even affect this part of the country! At least I was in Detroit when it happened.

Oh si? What were you doing there?

I had...some business to attend to.

José said you were going to sabotage an Ann Coulter book-signing.

What can I say? I don't like the guy.

So, how did it go?

The book-signing or the blackout?

The blackout.

It was ridiculous! I tried listening to the news radio station, but all the bubble-headed bimbo anchor cared about was whether or not the Lion King stage show was going on as planned!


I knew who was playing Simba and Pumba before I knew when it would be safe to drink the water again!


Anyway, the Northeast isn't the only area with a recent crisis. California has that recall thing going on.

Oh, with Mr. Freeze? I just came from there!

Si, I know. Good job throwing that egg, Chiwawa Boy!

Gracias. It's kinda funny now...support for the Terminator is slipping.


Si...it's now down to like 3 percent.

Wow...the same amount that finds Michael Ian Black funny.

I just read something about him. Supposedly he also does the voice of that Pets.com dog puppet.

Oh great, another reason for me to hate him.

Which one?


Who are you favoring in the California race?

Well, how many celebrities are running?

About three hundred. This thing will have a bigger celebrity turnout than the Emmys!

Well that's not hard to accomplish...let's see...Conan, Gary Coleman, Gallagher...are there any NON-has-beens running?

The Unknown Comic is still undecided...I think that's the closest thing so far.

And people wonder why nobody takes this country seriously! We have guys smashing watermelons running for public office and cokeheads who skipped out of military service parading around in flight suits.

I was going to buy that action figure, but instead I'm waiting for Bola-Launching Utility Belt Bush...the repaint version comes with a pack-in of the dog he molested! By the way, does our state have anything coming up like the California recall?

I don't think so...but then again, after the 2000 mess, I'd be surprised if we're allowed to have any kind of election here again.

Hey, at least we killed that one guy who murdered the abortion doctor.


What? You don't think he deserved to die?

Well, he was definitely evil, and I guess he deserved whatever he had coming to him, but...is this really the message we want to give people? An eye for an eye? It seems to me as if that was exactly what this guy was thinking when he killed the doctor.

What would you rather have had done to him?

Um...huh? Oh, I get it. Well, how about if he be locked away for the rest of his life...in a women's prison! Or, since he thought he would be rewarded by Jesus when he died, keep him alive as long as possible...in a rubber room somewhere. This whole quickie execution thing just doesn't get the point across to the condemned. I mean, this guy was practically hoping for it! If the people running this state were smart, they would have realized that doing the exact opposite would have been a living hell for him.

Hmm...interesting. But then again, who's running the state...?

Si, I know. We've pretty much become Texas Vanilla.

So you're saying something has to be changed?

Most definitely. For better or for worse, something has to change...that's why I hope Californians know what they're doing later this year. The country's already being run by an idiot...don't the individual states deserve better??

It's all up to the people. They have the power.

Si. Let's just hope they use it correctly.

By the way, who was playing Simba?

I don't remember...but most likely they're running in California, too!

He Said/He Said July, 2003: Virginity and Celebrity
He Said/He Said April, 2003: France
He Said/He Said March, 2003: War
He Said/He Said February, 2003: Award Season
He Said/He Said December, 2002: Resolutions
He Said/He Said October, 2002: Fear
He Said/He Said September, 2002: The Emmys
He Said/He Said August, 2002: Baseball
He Said/He Said June, 2002: The Pledge
He Said/He Said May, 2002: Cloning
He Said/He Said February, 2002: Sex
He Said/He Said January, 2002: The State of the Union
He Said/He Said December, 2001: The Holidays
He Said/He Said August, 2001: McDonald's
He Said/He Said July, 2001: Music
He Said/He Said May, 2001: The Death Penalty
He Said/He Said March, 2001: The Oscars
He Said/He Said February, 2001: Napster

The Gama News Team ©2003 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.

The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.