Hola, Chiwawa Boy!

Amiço!

What do you think of the Pledge?

I hated it. Jack Nicholson walking around looking like the Wolfman for two hours!

No, I mean the Pledge of Allegiance.

And it didn't even end! The last scene was him standing in the woods or something!

When did this column start becoming bad Cheech and Chong routines?

Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. Why, what's going on?

There's this big controversy whether or not the words "under god" should remain in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Well, isn't there supposed to be a separation between church and state?

I think that's only in England. Remember, right now the president is some padre's boy from Texas. Do you think he won't try to grease religion for support in 2004?

Si, true. Well, okay, but what about freedom of religion? Don't we have that here?

Si, but what if you don't believe in this "God?" Does that make you any less of an American?

What are we, anyway?

We're Tamalian.

No no, I mean what religion are we?

Well, I don't know about you, but I was brought up as a Ronstadt, but then José kinda screwed it up when he signed all of us up for that Muslim church in Orlando.

But, we got Universal tickets for like half off!

Si. That Spider-Man thing was cool.

But, isn't the concept of freedom of religion the documented equivalent of "live and let live?"

I guess, but doesn't that also mean that we're not supposed to push our religion onto others? I mean, how did you feel when that one Muslim guy kept calling us to make sure we weren't buying pork?

Oh Allah! I forgot all about that. Man, he was creepy. Why did he keep rhyming?

After all, isn't that where all the trouble started last year, because someone didn't like our country's society and beliefs?

Actually, I just think they wanted to end Anne Heche's book tour.

What about the people who recited the Pledge before, what was it, 1954? Were they less American because they didn't include two very unimportant words?

But c'mon, Amiço, a lot of people in this country do believe in God. He's even mentioned on money!

Ah, so it's all about money.

Money is power.

Si, evidently it can even make you president.

So, what should be done about this? Should they change the pledge? Can you imagine all the confused schoolkids out there?

Sure, because that's the highlight of a child's school day.

What if they just changed "under God" to something harmless and all-inclusive?

Like what?

Well, what's something everyone likes?

Steven Spielberg movies.

Hmm..let's see....one nation, under Jaws....

No, that's no good. What about something more basic? How about food? Everyone seems to like food.

Except models. Okay, food....um.....one nation, under Trix? Oh, oh! How 'bout fruit?

I guess that makes sense. Fruits are organic.

What kind of fruits do people like....um.....let's see, waking up, breakfast.... A-ha! Citrus fruits!

You folks already see where this is going, don't ya?

But, not everyone likes oranges.... Amiço, I got it!

Hoh-boy, what?

"One nation, under lemon!" You like it?

Well....that's great, C.B. And what do you call this?

The....hee hee....Lemon Pledge of Allegiance.

The Gama News Team ©2002 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.

The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.