Our recurring feature in which Gama News political experts Amiço and Chiwawa Boy of The José Trio discuss and debate each other on current world news and events

April, 2003

Amiço and Chiwawa Boy

Bunch of lousy hateful....

Amiço, what's wrong??

Oh nothing....I was just over on the Yu-Gi-Oh message board and someone said something bad about the French. So I replied by mentioning the good things France had done for this country. Anyway, the general response was that I should shut up, that I don't know what I'm talking about, and that I should not bring up anything political anymore.

Wait a minute....what were you doing on a Yu-Gi-Oh message board?

That's not the point. I just don't understand it. Why don't people want to talk about the world?

Well, it's a message board, so that's your first mistake. You of all people should know by now that the Internet exists outside of the real world.

I suppose...but what can that be attributed to? I mean, don't people care about what's going on around them, especially something as big as a war?

I guess people just want a safe place to talk without having to deal with all that.

You mean like an alternate reality?

Si! Exactly! Why else would someone think that leaving negative eBay feedback is the worst possible thing you can do to a person?

But....don't you think this country needs a little more discussion??

That's what they have that Bill Maher show for.

Oh please! Maybe if he stopped bringing in people like Larry Miller who are only there to do their routine, or people who flip-flop like Dennis Miller, then maybe it would be an intelligent show.

Well, Amiço, you gotta realize that there are some people out there who don't want to discuss it.

Why? Are they so afraid that someone somewhere is going to say something anti-war or anti-Bush that cannot be argued, thus questioning their entire political belief? I don't think the Internet is that powerful yet!

So, you think the answer is to discuss it openly in Pokemon forums?

It wasn't Pokemon, it was Yu-Gi-Oh...but I think if such a discussion happens, it shouldn't be shied away from. How else are we going to learn things from each other if everyone in the world adheres to a FAQ list? The only exception I can see is if someone is threatening or a crackpot...but otherwise, c'mon, talk for cryin' out loud! We're living in a scary time, when unelected leaders of countries decide to embark on wars on their own by ignoring the U.N. If this isn't a time to talk about the world around us, then when the hell are we going to??

Well fortunately we can do that here. So what started all this?

Oh, someone said something bad about France...you know, because they didn't do exactly what this country told them to do.

Oh yeah, I forgot....our allies are now supposed to be our underlings.

America always talks about upholding the rights of Free Speech and free opinion, yet as soon as someone uses those rights to say something other than "Yah vold!", then this country acts like a spoiled little infant.

That's kinda harsh, don't you think?

Chiwawa Boy, the cafeteria in the Senate building is now offering "Freedom Fries!"

WHAT??? Oh, THAT'LL show 'em!

They've already renamed french toast "liberty toast." They spend more time renaming things than they do making them healthier to eat!

But...but....America named those things....they're English words, right?? How is that hurting the French??

This is all that "older generation" thinking. They all think we're still in World War II and that it's "patriotic" to act like a bunch of assholes toward one foreign group.

So, does this mean we're sending back the Statue of Liberty?

Yeah...that'll happen when we give the land back to the Native Americans! America's like the engaged couple who don't give back shower gifts after they screw things up.

Freedom fries....god, that sounds stupid in any context. What's next? Are we going to make Baked Alaska with "Patriot Vanilla" ice cream?

But only after the salad with "Red, White, and Blue" dressing.

We could even go to a concert afterward....there's this guy who plays a mean "Liberty" horn!

I'm more of a movie fan. Is The "Stars and Stripes" Connection with Gene Hackman playing anywhere?

I think so...but someone will have to watch my "Bush" poodle.

Maybe you should ask that one girl you were "Glory" kissing last night?

By the way, you have to go to the store. We're all out of "America's" mustard.

That's because I used it all on those "Domestic Dip" sandwiches we got from that restaurant.

Oh right, the night we got the "Hacksaw Jim Duggan Silk" pie from Bakers Square.

Okay, that was a bit of a stretch. I got one more here....when I go to the store, I'll be sure to also get "Apple Pie" bread!

How dare anyone question this country. Don't they know they're in for minor, petty, immature flack?

America is so self-absorbed sometimes. Do you know that it's not just France, but there are tons of countries out there that think Bush is wrong?

Si, including about half of this one.

The point is we're the ones who are disagreeing with the rest of the world!

What about our allies in this war?

Who, you mean Tony Blair and the Isle of Pingo Pongo?

Hmm...good point. Some "coalition."

It should be "oilition."

Do you know how people back at Tamale feel about all this?

Well you know, they support France, ever since the Tamalian Revolution.

Isn't it ironic that the same people who label the war protestors as "anti-America" are also the ones who are anti-France?

Well, when people are wrong, they like to have double standards.

Boy, there's nothing like blind patriotism, eh?

At least not online.

Viva la France.com!

He Said/He Said March, 2003: War
He Said/He Said February, 2003: Award Season
He Said/He Said December, 2002: Resolutions
He Said/He Said October, 2002: Fear
He Said/He Said September, 2002: The Emmys
He Said/He Said August, 2002: Baseball
He Said/He Said June, 2002: The Pledge
He Said/He Said May, 2002: Cloning
He Said/He Said February, 2002: Sex
He Said/He Said January, 2002: The State of the Union
He Said/He Said December, 2001: The Holidays
He Said/He Said August, 2001: McDonald's
He Said/He Said July, 2001: Music
He Said/He Said May, 2001: The Death Penalty
He Said/He Said March, 2001: The Oscars
He Said/He Said February, 2001: Napster

The Gama News Team ©2003 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.

The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.