Our recurring feature in which Gama News political experts Amiço and Chiwawa Boy of The José Trio discuss and debate each other on current world news and events


March, 2007
Anna Nicole

by
Amiço and Chiwawa Boy

Amiço, did you hear? Did you hear??

Hear what?

They finally found out what killed Anna Nicole Smith.

Oh. Was it drugs?

No, it was dru--hey, how did you know already?

Chiwawa Boy, for the last week or so all anyone has talked about is Anna Nicole Smith and what killed her.

Oh. Well, news travels quickly.

It's not news! An addict dying of an overdose is NOT news!

Sure it is. She was a famous person. Her death would be news.

But why is it the only news?? Are you telling me with a war still going on, mysterious federal attorney firings, an upcoming presidential election, and tainted dog food that the one thing that should stop the presses and put everything else on the back burner is some enhanced former centerfold drugging herself to death?

C'mon on, Amiço, her son just died....

Of...?

Sigh, touche. But still, so she isn't allowed to be depressed?

C.B., she had five different sedatives and relaxants in her system, including Valium and one to stop epileptic seizures. She had also taken Benadryl and Topamax. That isn't treating depression, that's forcing a coma. This was someone who wanted to be lulled into a state of absolute immobility.

What are you saying, that she committed suicide?

No, no, I just think she wanted to numb herself to the outside world and didn't know what the hell she was doing.

But why? Why would she overdo it just to feel better?

Well, the doctors on the news said that she had developed a tolerance to all of the crap she had taken, so clearly she was a pro at medicating herself.

Or a pro at making herself feel better, you think?

Si. I mean, this was a person who overdid everything just because it made her feel good...food, booze, shopping. Little white pills were just the next thing for her to be hooked on.

Amiço, aren't we being just a tad cynical?

No, she was an addict who wouldn't help herself. You saw her old reality show. She was always surrounded by sycophantic sidekicks who should have been looking out for her, but instead just let her self-destruct.

How Marilyn Monroe-ish.

Oh, don't you even begin to compare the two....

Que?!?

Marilyn had bags of talent. Anna Nicole just had bags of silicone!

Oh come on! Skyscraper had its moments!

Are you nuts??

Que?! You didn't like Skyscraper??

C.B., it was a soft-core Die Hard rip-off.

No it wasn't! It was an action movie with select integral scenes used for minor titillation.

Integral? None of the sex scenes had anything to do with the plot, and the one that was loosely shoehorned into the storyline was an uncomfortable rape scene.

And I still say that Anna Nicole Smith handled that better than on Marilyn's best day.

You're loco.

I am not!

You're seriously comparing the rape scene in Skyscraper with Some Like It Hot, The Seven Year Itch, and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes??

Huh? Some Like It Hot? Marilyn wasn't in that.

Yes, she was!

"She??"

Si! Marilyn Monroe is a woman.

No, that's just a naked costume he wears in videos!

Huh? Costu--THAT'S MARILYN MANSON, YOU IDIOT!

Really? The murderer??

Grrrr....

Amiço, are you still there?

Amiço?

Oh well, I always liked Butch Patrick better anyway.


He Said/He Said January, 2007: State of Confusion
He Said/He Said November, 2006: Torture
He Said/He Said August, 2006: Pluto
He Said/He Said July, 2006: The Anti-War Movement
He Said/He Said May, 2006: Surveillance
He Said/He Said April, 2006: Immigration
He Said/He Said February, 2006: Anniversaries
He Said/He Said December, 2005: War on Christmas
He Said/He Said September, 2005: Hurricane Preparation
He Said/He Said July, 2005: Presidential Diversions
He Said/He Said May, 2005: Revenge of the Ditz
He Said/He Said April, 2005: The Pope
He Said/He Said February, 2005: Cartoons
He Said/He Said December, 2004: New Year's Past
He Said/He Said October, 2004: Amiço and Chiwawa Boy's Super-Cool Election Spectacular!
He Said/He Said August, 2004: Terror Alerts
He Said/He Said June, 2004: The Gipper
He Said/He Said March, 2004: Language
He Said/He Said February, 2004: Nudity
He Said/He Said January, 2004: State of Delusion
He Said/He Said December, 2003: 2003: The Obligatory Year in Review
He Said/He Said October, 2003: Marriage Protection Week
He Said/He Said September, 2003: Blackouts and Rub-outs
He Said/He Said July, 2003: Virginity and Celebrity
He Said/He Said April, 2003: France
He Said/He Said March, 2003: War
He Said/He Said February, 2003: Award Season
He Said/He Said December, 2002: Resolutions
He Said/He Said October, 2002: Fear
He Said/He Said September, 2002: The Emmys
He Said/He Said August, 2002: Baseball
He Said/He Said June, 2002: The Pledge
He Said/He Said May, 2002: Cloning
He Said/He Said February, 2002: Sex
He Said/He Said January, 2002: The State of the Union
He Said/He Said December, 2001: The Holidays
He Said/He Said August, 2001: McDonald's
He Said/He Said July, 2001: Music
He Said/He Said May, 2001: The Death Penalty
He Said/He Said March, 2001: The Oscars
He Said/He Said February, 2001: Napster


The Gama News Team ©2007 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.

The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.