Hey, Chiwawa Boy!

Hola, Amiço!

What are your thoughts on condoms?

Ehhn....I'm not really into real estate.

That's cute. No, I mean profolacticacles.

Huh?

Protection!

You mean like with the mob?

No!! Latex-based adjustable disease and pregnancy preventors!

Oh.....rubbers.

Si! Si! What do you think about them?

About what?

RUBBERS!!!

Hee hee....you said "rubbers."

AAAIIIGGHHH!!!!!

Agh!! Stop choking me, Amiço!

Never!

Okay! Okay! I'll talk!

Whew....gracias. I-I'm sorry I lost my cool there, C.B.

Por nada. Now, what were we talking about?

Grrrr....what...do...you...think...about...CONDOMS??!!

Oh, si, si. I suppose they work well.

Don't you know?

Nada....and I really do not want to discuss it further.

Do you at least know how to do it?

Huh? Oh si! My padre told me all about sex.

What padre? You lived in an orphanage until you were sixteen.

My padre Danny Tanner. He taught me many life lessons when he raised me with his brother-in-law Uncle Jesse and his best friend, struggling comedian Joey Gladstone.

Uh....Chiwawa Boy...you just described a Full House episode.

Well, it hardly seemed like a syndrome, but yes things did get cramped when Uncle Jesse married Aunt Rebecca and decided to raise their twin boys up in the attic. But we made room the time we built Joey a brand new bedroom in the basement.

So, Danny Tanner told you about sex?

Not really....he just let me watch D.J. change.

I am both stunned and disgusted.

Why? Amiço, sex can be a beautiful thing. How did you learn about it?

I learned about it in the third grade.

Really?

Si....the teacher had puppets. Disturbing puppets.

So you learned about puppet sex, eh?

That teacher didn't stay at the school much longer after that.

Hey, that reminds me. Did you leave anyone behind when you left Tamale with us?

You mean like a girlfriend?

Si.

No.

No?

Si.

Si?

No.

No? Who?

Sue.

Sue?

Si. Sue.

Ohhhh.

What the hell was that all about?

How long did you know Sue?

Who?

You.

Knew who?

Sue.

Whew! Um....about two years. She would sing at a tavern I used to visit.

She do Karaoke?

Um, maybe.....does that have anything to do with leather straps?

No....Karaoke singing.

Oh oh oh.....no.

Did you get to say good-bye to her before you left?

Of course not! You know I only left Tamale because I fell asleep in the back of your truck when you and José left!

Oh yeah...

What about you? Did you leave any senoritas behind?

Nobody in particular. Just Mindy.

Mindy?

Si. It wasn't working out. Do you know she was living with some hairy alien?

Sigh....all right, that's enough, Chiwawa Boy.

Then there was Mary who worked in the news room....and that girl who worked at the brewery with the "L" on her uniform....and Joanie, but she loved Chachi....

Never mind him, folks. See you later....and don't forget about safe sex!

And then there's Maude....

The Gama News Team ©2002 GAMA Productions. The Gama News Team and its related characters are the exclusive properties of GAMA Productions. All rights reserved.

The José Trio concept, Amiço, and Chiwawa Boy are the exclusive properties of Catra Enterprizes, a Catra-Dohtem, Inc. company.